Don't Fight Fire With Fire

At times, children's emotion's run hot and may erupt into a conflagration, if not a towering inferno. When confronted by fire, our basic instincts direct us to defend ourselves and our natural tendency is to fight back to extinguish the flames. However, our response to children's behavior can prove to be as scorching as the behavior itself and result in increasing the intensity of the situation. Like firefighters, sometimes its best to evacuate all nearby residents, safeguard the neighborhood and let the fire burn itself out. Other times, a response that flows like cool soothing water is best when trying to douse the flames.

Like most other natural disasters, prevention is key to mitigating the effects of fire. Establishing a safe and secure learning environment that provides regularity and routine, as well as provides clear boundaries and expectations will be key to children's stability and success. Taking time to help children develop socially and emotionally will help eliminate episodes of spontaneous combustion or stop small fires from growing into wildfires. Smokey gave us good advice when he said, "Only you can prevent forest fires." What sort of behavioral fire prevention are you conducting with children at home or at your child care program?

Joe

Joe was impulsive at preschool, having difficulty sitting still or participating in daily activities. As he moved about the classroom, he tended to go over, under or through objects or individuals in his way. He hit. He ignored constant attempts by his caregivers to redirect his behavior. Joe had learned how to attract attention and control his environment throught his disruptive and defiant behavior.

Like most children, Joe performed well in situations where he was provided with individualized attention. A caregiver worked with him for an hour each week, one-on-one, focusing on Joe's ability to stay on-task and developing the social skills that would lead to more appropriate interactions with others. He was cooperative during these individual sessions . . . until it was time to terminate the activity and for Joe to return to normal preschool activities. This transition, initiated by the caregiver, triggered all the troublesome behaviors the session was designed to diminish. Despite efforts to prompt or prepare him for the transition, it always ended with the same, unpleasant outcome. For several weeks this continued until the caregiver struck upon an idea. By giving Joe the responsibility for terminating the activity, might the transition be acheived successfully? Perhaps this approach woul help build feelings of confidence and competence, as well as meet his need for attention and control.

At the beginning of the very next session with Joe, the caregiver removed his watch and pointing to the big hand said, "When the hand reaches here, at the number two, it will be time for me to leave." Handing Joe his watch, he asked, "Would you hold my watch and keep track of the time?" Joe, excited by having the resonsibility for such an important possession, readily agreed. So Joe and his caregiver played together and, by happenstance, worked on sharing, following directions, taking turns and finishing activities, among other things. From time to time, the caregiver would ask to see the watch and, by pointing out the big hand, helped Joe determine whether the hand reached the assigned time. "Since the big hand hasn't reached the number two, can I stay and play?" inquired the caregiver. "Yes" responded Joe happily. Finally, when they reached the assigned time, the caregiver asked with some foreboding, "The big hand has reached the number two, what do I need to do?" "You need to leave" Joe said confidently. So, without fuss or complication, the caregiver retrieved his watch and did just that. And Joe, who was given the attention and control he desired, returned to his normal activities.

Wellness

The term "wellness" is often used to describe the efforts we make in regards to taking care of our physical and spiritual well-being. Wellness may be associated with particular activities that promote good health, such as; smoking cessation programs, diets, meditation, aerobics training or yoga. If we are fortunate, we are able to incorporate these activities into our daily lives and affect an overall lifestyle change. Ultimately, the context of wellness addresses our desire to be healthy adults.

In addition, the term wellness might also be used in the context of how we envision young children becoming healthy adults. We often address this in terms of specific skills children need to acquire in order to be successful however, we might also consider this in the context how to support the development of healthy personalities in young children. What personality traits or attributes do young children need to develop to become healthy adults? Here are six to consider:

Sense of Future When children have a sense of the future they know they have choices. They can construct an image in their mind that helps them see what's ahead . . . and that things are going to turn out alright. We associate vision, wisdom and patience with a sense of future.

Sense of Appreciation Children appreciate what they have and also demonstrate value in others. They try to know and understand who others are. We associate sensitivity, acceptance, respect and inclusion with a sense of appreciation.

Sense of Togetherness Children spend time with others engaged in meaningful activities where they interact and participate together. We associate cooperation and trust with time together.

Sense of Emotional Balance Children find healthy ways to moderate their emotional and physical reactions to stressful situations. We associate stability and discipline with managing stress.

Sense of Open Communication Children listen and learn . . . and are genuinely interested in what others are saying. We associate expression, listening and interest with communication.

Sense of Commitment Children set goals for themselves and realize them even under adversity. We associate integrity and confidence with a sense of commitment.

We can teach specific skills that will help children develop their social, emotional, language and cognitive abilities. However, in regards to promoting wellness in the context of children's healthy personality, look to your childcare environment to determine whether it reflects the values or attributes we seek to instill in young children. Are children treated with wisdom and patience, cooperation and trust, stability and limits, openness and interest or integrity and confidence during their childcare experience? Providing a childcare experience that promotes these qualities or attributes is the most appropriate way to assure the development of children's emotional health and well-being.

Rewards

Whether in conjunction with a behavior program or in our everyday interactions with young children, we employ different methods to reinforce or reward behavior. The most common and effective method is for caregivers to target their attention and affection to children for appropriate behavior. More on this later.

One method employed by caregivers to reward or reinforce behavior is the use of tangibles. A tangible, by definition, is something that is real. . . something that can be touched, appraised or valued. One popular tangible used by caregivers are stickers. These are awarded to children when they participate, cooperate or just for a job well done. Stickers provide immediate rewards for children's behavior however, they have little intrinsic value and tend not to be able to reinforce behavior over the long term. Once given, stickers quickly lose their importance and, contrary to definition, they quickly become unstuck. Hand stamps or stick-on tattoos can also be used to reward compliance but their power to affect behavior soon fades as well. Another method using tangibles is the prize box or the "Treasure Chest". These are generally used by caregivers to reward children for appropriate behavior over an extended period of time, for example a day or, more often, a week at a time. However, an arbitrary schedule of rewards may not be appropriate for many children beset with problem behavior as they may require more immediate or frequent rewards to support their needs. They often experience feelings of loss as their peers are awarded prizes and they are not. Unfortunately, these feelings will have an overall negative impact on behavior. Food or sweets are often used as tangible rewards for appropriate behavior. Like stickers, they are useful as immediate rewards but have little long term value once ingested. For health and dietary reasons alone, sweets are a poor choice to reward or reinforce behavior.

While we might consider the manner in which a caregiver attends to or demonstrates affection for children as an intangible, don't underestimate it's importance in affecting behavior. Children respond to these intangibles as an affirmation of the value we ascribe them as individuals of worth, competence and capacity. These gestures are reassuring to young children whose emerging developmental skills may leave them ill-prepared for the vicissitudes of the childcare environment, particularly for children experiencing problem behavior. Therefore, the personal relationship caring adults establish with children will have a more potent effect on behavior than any tangible reward we could offer. Moreover, the success of most relationships doesn't depend on material goods or things, but flourishes because it provides each individual the opportunity to participate in or contribute to the relationship in some meaningful way. Therefore, if you are looking to reward or reinforce children's behavior, what you can give them is an opportunity to contribute consequentially to your childcare activities. Be creative in what opportunities you provide children in regards to playing a significant role in childcare activities as a result of appropriate behavior. Recognize, as well, that you probably provide some opportunities at present, but not realize it. These opportunites may be called; door holder, line leader, flag holder, weather spotter or table setter. Although we may consider these opportunities to participate routine, children do not.

Children should always have occasions to contribute in significant ways to their childcare experience. However, for children experiencing problem behavior, providing additional opportunities that celebrate their strengths and abilities will have lasting benefits. And, what better way to celebrate than in partnership with a caring adult.

Get With the Program, Part III

After devoting my last two posts to behavior programs, I recognized I should have stated at the very beginning that I seldom use behavior programs to address behavior problems with young children. In fact, hardly ever and typically only with individual children. If you are consistent in your efforts to recognize appropriate behavior, there is not usually a need to develop a structured program to guide your interactions with children. In addition, the attention and affection we provide children when appropriate is usually all that is needed to reward or reinforce behavior. Young children may also have a difficult time understanding how a behavior program operates or, simply, they lack the interest needed participate in a program successfully. Often I find that exceptionally bright or perceptive preschoolers respond best to individual behavior programs.

Like many things in life, the motto "Keep it simple, make it fun" applies to behavior programs. In addition, for any program to work, care-givers must be invested in the success of the program and diligent in their efforts to implement it consistently each and every day. If you don't think it is important, worthwhile or fun, neither will the children. Again, I suggest that care-givers follow their daily schedule and take the opportunity to reflect with children about their behavior during transitions from one activity to another (see Get With the Program, Part II). This doesn't take long and can easily become a part of your normal daily interactions with children. Identify the total number of transitions possible from activities listed your daily schedule (let's say 12) and determine a level of success (let's say 6) that a child can achieve daily in their target behavior (let's say Safe Hands). That is, we expect children in this instance to be able to use their safe hands during at least 6 of 12 scheduled activities. For some children the level of success may be set higher, for some, the level may actually be lower. Most importantly, caregivers need to determine a level where children will experience success. If we develop unrealistic goals for children's performance our behavior program is doomed to failure. We start at achievable levels and increase expectations over time. Before you start a behavior program, let children know how the program works and the expectations for success.

Caregivers can have children chart their success with the target behavior by placing a check mark next to the activity on their daily schedule. An alternative system utilizes "tokens", such as poker chips, that are awarded to children during transitions and then deposited in a "bank". At the end of the day, the parent or caregiver can check children's progress and determine whether they had met their goal regarding the target behavior. Again, we eliminate the issue of making arbitrary decisions whether children have been good or bad and focus instead on measurable performance regarding the target behavior. Finally, be careful not to use behavior programs to threaten children, such as "You won't get a token if you keep that up!" or to penalize children for inappropriate behavior by taking away check marks or tokens earned. If there's a problem engaging in the target behavior, children will fail to earn a check mark or a token but always have the opportunity to redeem themselves and earn more. If children successfully engage in the appropriate target behavior but experience other behavior problems, they still earn a check mark or token but may face a consequence for their other misbehavior. A behavior program is like a contract with children, we can't be changing our stated expectations in response to other problems.

Get With The Program, Part II

In my last post, I reviewed how caregivers typically use behavior programs to provide children with consequences for their misbehavior. However, I believe that behavior programs are most effective when used to provide a structure for caregivers to reinforce children's appropriate behavior.

I think it is important that subjective views regarding children's overall behavior be eliminated from behavior programs. My approach is to address one behavior at a time or to "target" a particular behavior. This helps to clarify the problem and move the focus from moral judgements regarding whether children have been good or bad, to particular actions or behaviors happening in real time. While there may be many behaviors that create problems, addressing one behavior at a time communicates to children that you place particular importance on that behavior and helps support a consistent approach in your efforts to address the behavior. Furthermore, if you believe a rising tide raises all boats, any improvement in the "target" behavior will be generalized to other behaviors.

Always define behavior, target or otherwise, in terms of a desired outcome. For example, if behavior is exhibited as hitting or pushing, "target" children's use of "safe hands". If the problem behaviors are running or screaming, "target" behaviors would include the use of "walking feet" and "quiet voices". In any event, whether you are using a behavior program or not, helping children focus in a positive way on their appropriate behavior will pay off in spades.

Even for children who experience significant problems in their preschool environment, the vast majority of time they are engaging in appropriate behavior or, at least, an absence of inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, we often fail to recognize and reinforce this behavior when it occurs. A behavior program is used to provide a schedule for caregivers to interact with children regarding their appropriate behavior at regular intervals throughout the day. In the daycare environment, the classroom schedule can be used to guide this interaction. As children transition from one activity to another, have them assess whether they had engaged in the "target" behavior during the preceding activity. This is not a question of whether you have been good or bad, but whether you used your "safe hands" during, for example, circle time . Children are always given the first opportunity to determine whether they had engaged in the target behavior or not. In this way, we allow children ownership in the program, as well as control over behavioral outcomes.

In an earlier post, I addressed the difficulty children have being circumspect about their behavior. So, don't be surprised when they won't acknowledge that they weren't able to engage successfully in the target behavior during the time defined by the program. We can then provide a supportive "reality check" with children to determine whether they engaged in the target behavior or not. In my next post, I'll address scoring behavior programs and rewarding children for meeting behavioral goals.

Get With The Program

Many child care providers utilize classroom behavior programs as a tool to influence children's behavior. Behavior programs can be as simple as using stickers to reinforce appropriate behavior to more sophisticated programs that monitor the quality of children's behavior over time using quantitative measures. These might include the use of check marks on a daily schedule, popsicle sticks placed in an envelope or, for one program I recently encountered, hole punches on an index card. Providers sometimes incorporate colors into behavior programs, for example, using the spectrum of a traffic light to denote behavioral expectations . . . green for go, yellow for slow down and red for stop. At home, behavior programs are often used in conjunction with "potty" training to support children's transition to independent toileting.

Unfortunately, many classroom behavior programs appear to be structured solely to provide a punitive response to inappropriate behavior. Often a program stands by idle or inert until misbehavior occurs, then is activated to impose a negative consequence on a child or to threaten an impending consequence. However, threats and negative outcomes are apt to increase children's levels of stress and, consequently, contribute to misbehavior. Indeed, an abrupt loss of status in a behavior program may actually trigger an outburst or tantrum. It will certainly signal trouble ahead if children perceive that a loss in program status is equivalent to "all is lost".

Recognize that young children have difficulty understanding how to integrate their behavior into an emerging concept of self. Because they tend to think in concrete terms, children may have a difficult time separating what they do from who they are. Therefore, behavior programs that focus exclusively on providing consequences for misbehavior may be contributing to feelings of loss and low self-esteem. In children's eyes, a behavior program may appear primarily as an indicator of their "goodness" or "badness" (see my post, No Bad Kids). Moreover, some care-givers may reinforce this impression of good or bad by using symbols in their behavior program that create either positive or negative associations, such as smiley faces versus "frowny" faces or promoting such concepts as green means good and red means bad. Sometimes we'll use a program to label behavior outright, leaving no doubt what we consider good or bad.

Our ability to effect children's behavior is greatly diminished when we approach these programs only as tools to consequence misbehavior. When control of the program is administered by the caregiver, there is little motivation for children to make an effort to modify their behavior or, moreover, participate in the program in any meaningful way. For behavior programs to be successful, they should provide frequent opportunities for providers to interact with young children regarding appropriate behavior, as well as provide children with opportunities to participate in the program in meaningful ways. More on this in my next post.