Consequences
Time Out and Time Away

In my ruminations regarding biting behavior, I reviewed factors that contribute to biting and interventions you can use to encourage appropriate behavior. What I didn't address, and what many of you may have been waiting for, are a review of appropriate consequences to biting behavior. I believe consequences are essential in helping children develop internal control mechanisms that enable them to manage their own actions. However, real behavior change occurs as a result of caregivers focusing on children's appropriate behavior and investing the time in helping children acquire social skills, understand feelings and develop problem-solving abilities. In the scheme of things, consequences are fairly easy, we intervene and move on. On the other hand, supporting appropriate behavior and teaching new skills requires discipline, patience and the willingness to devote valuable time to guide and support children's' behavior each and every day. It also takes practice, for we fall into old habits of over-responding to problem behavior and under-attending to appropriate behavior.

OK, having said my peace regarding supporting appropriate behavior, just how do we consequence inappropriate behavior? I like to use something called Time Away. Most of us have heard of and many of you may employ an consequence called Time Out. In Time Out, the child typically is directed to a particular area, often a corner or a chair, in response to problem behavior. The caregiver's attitude in implementing Time Out is usually punitive in nature, that is, our outward demeanor projects a feeling that "You've been bad and I am punishing you". In a very up-front and often negative manner, the caregiver projects their power over the child to interrupt the immediate behavior problem and present an uncomfortable consequence that will, hopefully, discourage the child from engaging in that behavior in the future. Indeed, Time Out may achieve the desired result...the cessation of the problem behavior and a deterrence for the child to engage in that behavior in the future. However, for many children, Time Out often generates feelings of resentment toward the caregiver. Children may indignantly comply with the consequences of a Time Out, or might just as easily tantrum or escalate to oppositional and defiant behavior. Like all of us, young children experience the need for self-determination and control over their environment. A Time Out may actually be perceived by children as an offense to their dignity. Might we not feel the same way if we were in their shoes?

More about Time Out and Time Away in my next post.

Attention and Emotion

Children will modify their behavior based upon feedback they receive from the surrounding environment. If the environment attends or responds to inappropriate behavior, then it will perpetuate inappropriate behavior. However, if the environment attends to or reinforces appropriate behavior, then more appropriate behavior will ensue, much to the delight of caregivers. Labeled praise helps the child clarify what specific behavior/s are targeted for attention by the caregiver. This doesn't necessarily result in a eureka moment, where the child suddenly realizes "Hey! Whenever I use my safe hands with my friends, my caregivers shower me with love and attention so I'll just use my safe hands more often" (although this may very well take place). Usually, it is a more subtle or unconcious process that takes place, but it is still successful in modifying behavior.

Emotion amplifies our attending behavior. We often respond to problem behaviors with negative emotion; a raised voice, piercing stare or furrowed brow and a wagging finger. This negative emotion makes your attention that much more potent and reinforces the inappropriate behavior. It also increases levels of stress for all parties involved, making communication and problem-solving more difficult and increasing the chances of additional behavior problems. So, for inappropriate behavior, limit the amount of attention you provide and manage negative emotions. For appropriate behavior, pay close attention and use labeled praise liberally, as well as employ all your positive emotions, such as smiling, intonation of voice and nurturing touch. This is important not only in increasing your level of attention, but it also communicates to children that you are a caregiver who values them as individuals and are worthy of their trust. Cooperation and compliance improves with children who trust their caregiver.

Attending to behavior using labeled praise and positive emotion work effectively with young children or preschoolers. However, don't be surprised when you try to use these techniques with older children that they consider you odd, silly or even worse. These children have matured and a more mature approach is needed to address their problem behavior.