Time Away and Attention

Time Away has many similarities to Redirection, where children are directed away from the source of the problem and engaged in other activities with other children or with a provider. Time Away differs from Redirection in that children aren't given the opportunity to interact with others when separated and directed to another activity. Please note, however, in many early childhood classroom programs, any separation of a child from their peer group is considered punishment and both Time Out and Time Away are disallowed.

The theory behind Time Away is to separate children, not only from the source of the problem, but from sources of attention in the environment that reinforce behavior. Attention is a powerful influence on behavior, that is, the more attention you provide to a particular behavior or behaviors, the more likely those behavior/s will continue to occur. This holds true whether the behavior is considered appropriate or inappropriate. Typically, we provide attention or "attend to" misbehavior by interacting verbally with children. Often this takes the form of trying to direct, question or reason with children. In addition, we attend to misbehavior through facial expressions, gestures or even how our body is positioned in relation to the child in the environment. When we add emotion, we amplify our attention and create an experience that children perceive ultimately as either negative or positive. When we respond to misbehavior with negative emotion, such as anger or frustration, levels of stress increase and avenues of communication with children break down. Children end up focusing on the provider's demeanor, not on the problem, and may actually escalate their behavior in response to a perceived threat. Therefore, it is important when we employ Time Away, or any other consequence for misbehavior, not only to provide children with minimal attention but reflect an attitude of love and respect.

Even young children who are perceived to have behavior problems participate and cooperate in most daily activities at home or school. Unfortunately, this appropriate behavior is often overlooked or unnoticed. Our tendency is to over-respond to misbehavior and under-respond when children are acting appropriately. Our challenge is to change the dynamics of how we provide attention and emotion to children's behavior. Children will learn what actions receive the most attention and emotion and will adjust their behavior accordingly.

Time Out and Time Away

In my previous post, I discussed Time Out and how attitude affects how we impose consequences with children. Typically, we respond to inappropriate behavior by exerting our power and dominance over children. This response is often instinctual in nature and may be driven by what we perceive as a threat to our authority. Recognize, however, that it is next to impossible for a preschool child to have authority over an adult. It is most likely that we allow ourselves to feel threatened where no real threat exists. And while Time Out is not designed to be punitive, it often becomes an ugly or harsh experience for children when adults associate negative emotions, such as; anger, frustration or humiliation in the Time Out experience. Recognize, however, that even when we disassociate negative emotions from our discipline, many children, nevertheless, will respond with difficulty to consequences. No one likes to have limits placed on their behavior and will naturally react to forces in the environment that provide those boundaries.

In Time Away, our attitude shifts away from power and dominance over the child, to one in which the adult's demeanor is supportive but devoid of attention. In providing consequences to inappropriate behavior using Time Away, we project an attitude akin to; "I'm so sorry that you've decided to act this way, you'll just have to go elsewhere until you are able to act appropriately." This is not accomplished by talking to the child, but by a gentle and respectful separation or redirection of the child away from sources of attention in the environment, particularly other children or adults. Therefore, if you're at home and a child is acting out, the child could be redirected to a number different areas within the household or even outside. In a child care situation, the child could be directed to a different learning center or area within the child care environment separate from adults or peers. The child is free to play or engage in appropriate activities in that particular setting. At home, this does not include watching television or playing video games, as these activities tend to reward or reinforce behavior.

Time Out or Time Away should only be used when other efforts have failed to help children with their behavior. Monitor children for safety at all times and be particularly vigilant when providing consequences, as children may have difficulty coping appropriately with their feelings. Next post will address the power of attention and how it relates to Time Away.