Time Out and Time Away

In my previous post, I discussed Time Out and how attitude affects how we impose consequences with children. Typically, we respond to inappropriate behavior by exerting our power and dominance over children. This response is often instinctual in nature and may be driven by what we perceive as a threat to our authority. Recognize, however, that it is next to impossible for a preschool child to have authority over an adult. It is most likely that we allow ourselves to feel threatened where no real threat exists. And while Time Out is not designed to be punitive, it often becomes an ugly or harsh experience for children when adults associate negative emotions, such as; anger, frustration or humiliation in the Time Out experience. Recognize, however, that even when we disassociate negative emotions from our discipline, many children, nevertheless, will respond with difficulty to consequences. No one likes to have limits placed on their behavior and will naturally react to forces in the environment that provide those boundaries.

In Time Away, our attitude shifts away from power and dominance over the child, to one in which the adult's demeanor is supportive but devoid of attention. In providing consequences to inappropriate behavior using Time Away, we project an attitude akin to; "I'm so sorry that you've decided to act this way, you'll just have to go elsewhere until you are able to act appropriately." This is not accomplished by talking to the child, but by a gentle and respectful separation or redirection of the child away from sources of attention in the environment, particularly other children or adults. Therefore, if you're at home and a child is acting out, the child could be redirected to a number different areas within the household or even outside. In a child care situation, the child could be directed to a different learning center or area within the child care environment separate from adults or peers. The child is free to play or engage in appropriate activities in that particular setting. At home, this does not include watching television or playing video games, as these activities tend to reward or reinforce behavior.

Time Out or Time Away should only be used when other efforts have failed to help children with their behavior. Monitor children for safety at all times and be particularly vigilant when providing consequences, as children may have difficulty coping appropriately with their feelings. Next post will address the power of attention and how it relates to Time Away.