Basic Needs

It is impossible to eliminate events in the lives of young children that create stress and anxiety. However, we can create an environment that enable children to weather life's storms and develop in normative ways. Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, suggested that individuals have a hierarchy of needs in developing a healthy personality and that personal growth is dependent on whether the needs of each level of the hierarchy are satisfied.

The foundation of this hierarchy provides for an individual's basic physiological needs including; air, food, water and shelter. We are fortunate in our society that our basic needs are generally well met and that we don't suffer from the dramatic disruptions that occur to many other societies due to widespread famine, disease or displacement . . . Hurricane Katrina not withstanding. However, there are still important physiological factors to consider that contribute significantly to children's healthy development and will subsequently support appropriate behavior including; diet, sleep and exercise. Providing a healthy diet, sleep that is free of disturbance or disruption and generous amounts of outdoor physical exercise are fundamental supports to young children's development, in addition to helping them combat stress and anxiety. In particular, sleep problems can have a significant impact on children's behavior, as well as affect their ability to process and retain information.

The second level of Maslow's hierarchy of healthy personality addresses an individual's need for safety and security. For young children, this means providing an environment that provides stability, structure and order. One way we accomplish this is by having routines that create comfortable rhythms for children. In a child care environment, we may formalize these routines into written schedules or daily lesson plans. Another critical component to this concept of security is providing children with clear limits or boundaries. Like a driver's manual, boundaries provide children with critical instructions on how to navigate within their environment. Without them, they will certainly veer off course, if not experience frequent mishaps on their journey through childhood. Ultimately, children's safety and security depend on our ability to protect children from danger or injury. In the childcare environment, at home or in the community, supervision of young children is required at all times.

Maslow's hierarchy of personality goes on to address our need for love and belonging, as well as the need for respect and esteem from others. Recognize, however, that children's behavior is often the result of their basic needs not being met. Until we address those needs, our efforts regarding children's behavior may prove ineffectual.

Triggers, Feelings and Anxiety

After eliminating possible triggers in the child care environment that might initiate bouts of crying with our 4 year-old, it was time to look at other "outside" factors that might be contributing to her behavior. While these triggers may be far removed from the child care environment in terms of time and space, they can still significantly effect children's behavior.

Triggers, in and of themselves, are merely actions or events. However, children associate particular feelings with those actions and express them through their behavior. If the feelings are intense enough, they may be expressed immediately and, perhaps, dramatically. At other times, children may carry these feelings with them where they may emerge at unexpected moments in time, if at all. Anger and frustration are two feelings often associated with children's misbehavior. One other feeling, often overlooked, is anxiety.

Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry. Adults have developed skills in managing anxiety, particularly the ability to put problems in perspective. That is, being able to recognize that many problems are temporary in nature and resolutions, while not immediately evident, will likely be found. Young children are still developing the emotional skills needed to cope with life's challenges, so their anxiety often overwhelm them. What are these challenges? We need look no further than our little girl who cries. Within the last six months there had been a death in the family. A parent had lost employment. Recently, an older sibling had left the household due to conflict with a parent. On their own, each of these events might have proved too much for this little girl to manage. The combination. . . devastating.

Recognize the many challenges families face and the affect on young children. Some challenges we may see infrequently: sickness, hospitalization and death; frequent moves or homelessness; substance abuse, mental illness and domestic violence. Poverty and crime. Others more frequently, such as the time apart children spend daily from their families, separation and divorce. Where do we start in helping young children with these myriad challenges? More in my next post.

Triggers

Recently I had a child care provider call me regarding a 4 year-old who was crying. The little girl cried nearly every day and would literally cry for hours. At the time of the call, the crying behavior had been going on for more than a week and the provider was feeling exasperated and near to the end of her "rope". She had tried comforting the child, ignoring the behavior. . . nothing seemed to work. To address this little girl's crying, it was important to examine what factors may be triggering or contributing to her unhappy state of affairs.

Triggers are actions or events that initiate a behavioral response. We can usually identify these triggers through careful observation, recognizing the relationship between an event and children's corresponding behavior. Once identified, we can work to eliminate or orchestrate the triggering event to bring about a different behavioral outcome. For example, transitions from one activity to another are often difficult for young children. Recognizing that transitions often trigger oppositional behavior, we can try to orchestrate the transition in such a way to minimize potential problems, such as; singing a transition song, dimming the lights in the room or something as simple as providing extra time for the transition to occur. However, some behaviors may appear spontaneously and without an apparent triggering event. For the little girl with the crying behavior, there didn't appear to be a trigger the provider could identify from within the childcare environment. We carefully considered possible factors that might contribute to the child's behavior, such as; peer relations, provider-child relations, schedules, routines and activities, among others. Having eliminated every possibility, it was time to consider whether events taking place outside of the child care environment may be contributing to the crying behavior.

First, let me elaborate a bit more about triggers and behavior. Children's behavior may represent an unconscious response to an event or it may result from a process that is conscious and premeditated. In either circumstance, feelings play an important role in children's behavior, as will be demonstrated with the little girl who cries.

How Much Time...Away?

Many parents and providers use the one minute rule where children are "sentenced" to serve one minute in Time Out for every year of their age. Therefore, a two year-old would serve two minutes, a three year-old three minutes, etc. Unfortunately, two, three or more minutes can seem an eternity to young children and an extended Time Out can easily lead to feelings of anger and frustration that, in turn, may make it more difficult for children to manage their behavior. In Time Away, the initial consequence lasts only as long as children need to compose themselves and appear ready to return to normal activities. This may be a very short period of time, perhaps a matter of only 15-20 seconds. Again, our purpose is not to punish children or "teach them a lesson", but to separate them from the source of the problem and any attention that may reinforce misbehavior. We want to return children as quickly as possible to their normal activities and routines as they promote feelings of continuity, comfort and a sense of security. An environment that is nurturing and safe enables parents and providers in the real work of behavior change. . . encouraging and supporting children's appropriate behavior.

An inevitable question is "What do I do if the behavior continues?" The answer is not always clear and you may need to follow your heart as to your next action regarding a child. If another Time Away is appropriate, simply add some additional time after the child is calm or composed. Be reasonable, as our aim is to return the child as quickly as possible to normal activities.