How Much Time...Away?

Many parents and providers use the one minute rule where children are "sentenced" to serve one minute in Time Out for every year of their age. Therefore, a two year-old would serve two minutes, a three year-old three minutes, etc. Unfortunately, two, three or more minutes can seem an eternity to young children and an extended Time Out can easily lead to feelings of anger and frustration that, in turn, may make it more difficult for children to manage their behavior. In Time Away, the initial consequence lasts only as long as children need to compose themselves and appear ready to return to normal activities. This may be a very short period of time, perhaps a matter of only 15-20 seconds. Again, our purpose is not to punish children or "teach them a lesson", but to separate them from the source of the problem and any attention that may reinforce misbehavior. We want to return children as quickly as possible to their normal activities and routines as they promote feelings of continuity, comfort and a sense of security. An environment that is nurturing and safe enables parents and providers in the real work of behavior change. . . encouraging and supporting children's appropriate behavior.

An inevitable question is "What do I do if the behavior continues?" The answer is not always clear and you may need to follow your heart as to your next action regarding a child. If another Time Away is appropriate, simply add some additional time after the child is calm or composed. Be reasonable, as our aim is to return the child as quickly as possible to normal activities.