Consequences
Time Out and Time Away

In my ruminations regarding biting behavior, I reviewed factors that contribute to biting and interventions you can use to encourage appropriate behavior. What I didn't address, and what many of you may have been waiting for, are a review of appropriate consequences to biting behavior. I believe consequences are essential in helping children develop internal control mechanisms that enable them to manage their own actions. However, real behavior change occurs as a result of caregivers focusing on children's appropriate behavior and investing the time in helping children acquire social skills, understand feelings and develop problem-solving abilities. In the scheme of things, consequences are fairly easy, we intervene and move on. On the other hand, supporting appropriate behavior and teaching new skills requires discipline, patience and the willingness to devote valuable time to guide and support children's' behavior each and every day. It also takes practice, for we fall into old habits of over-responding to problem behavior and under-attending to appropriate behavior.

OK, having said my peace regarding supporting appropriate behavior, just how do we consequence inappropriate behavior? I like to use something called Time Away. Most of us have heard of and many of you may employ an consequence called Time Out. In Time Out, the child typically is directed to a particular area, often a corner or a chair, in response to problem behavior. The caregiver's attitude in implementing Time Out is usually punitive in nature, that is, our outward demeanor projects a feeling that "You've been bad and I am punishing you". In a very up-front and often negative manner, the caregiver projects their power over the child to interrupt the immediate behavior problem and present an uncomfortable consequence that will, hopefully, discourage the child from engaging in that behavior in the future. Indeed, Time Out may achieve the desired result...the cessation of the problem behavior and a deterrence for the child to engage in that behavior in the future. However, for many children, Time Out often generates feelings of resentment toward the caregiver. Children may indignantly comply with the consequences of a Time Out, or might just as easily tantrum or escalate to oppositional and defiant behavior. Like all of us, young children experience the need for self-determination and control over their environment. A Time Out may actually be perceived by children as an offense to their dignity. Might we not feel the same way if we were in their shoes?

More about Time Out and Time Away in my next post.