Maturity

Recently, I received several phone calls from child care providers regarding children who were having difficulty participating and cooperating in typical classroom activities. They reported active or impulsive behavior and difficulty interacting with other children . . . sometimes accompanied by hitting, pushing or other types of aggression. In each of these instances, the underlying issue appeared to be related to the child's maturity, or lack thereof.

Maturity is difficult to measure in young children. We know that children's chronological age contributes to maturity and that children should possess greater levels of maturity as they grow older. In addition, we observe that gender can also play a role with maturity and that girls often appear to mature earlier than boys. However, if I was to consider what attributes children possess that correspond to maturity, I might offer an oversimplified analogy to the baking of a cake. We would substitute our basic ingredients of flour, sugar and water with three new components; social skills acquisition, emotional development and cognitive ability. These components represent children's mastery of the principles that govern social interaction; the ability to identify and, to some degree, regulate emotion and, finally; thinking, reasoning and problem solving skills. Having assembled these ingredients and mixed them together, one final step is required before the mixture is transformed into a cake. Traditionally, the recipe calls for a baking process that requires the application of temperature over time and results in our ingredients melding together into a delicious dessert. With our cake, however, the process requires temperament and time. Temperament describes children's inclination or predisposition to modify their behavior and apply self-control, particularly in challenging situations. As you know, children can possess social, emotional and cognitive skills but still lack the inclination to modify their behavior when needed in the course of normal daily activities (sounds like a great description of a two-year-old). Time and effort are required to support children in making mature decisions regarding their behavior when their inclination may prove otherwise. Our efforts may often result in a pancake or an up-side down cake before we can successfully bake an angel food cake. Be patient, focus on your mixture of basic ingredients and allow children the flexibility to develop and grow according to their individual abilities. You won't be disappointed.